Monday, May 26, 2014

Surgeon Simulator 2013 Review

Surgeon Simulator 2013 is a very interesting game to review because by all accounts it should be horrible.  Normally I recommend a game for having fast-paced action with tight controls, flipping, kicking, a strong story and characters monologuing at each other like professional wrestlers, but Surgeon Simulator is the complete opposite in every way.

It doesn’t have much of a story for context, but in a very rare occurrence (for me), it doesn’t need one.  The basic jist of it is that you play as a left hand controlled by a brain-dead moron who clearly doesn’t know how surgery works.  Using five keys on the keyboard to bend the arm’s fingers, the left mouse button to lower it and the right mouse button to rotate it, you must perform a number of surgical transplants through rather… Unorthodox methods.

And by unorthodox methods, I mean you pull everything out and plop the replacement in the empty cavity.  The sloppy surgery combined with the awkward crane controls and physics is the core of the game's cathartic appeal.  It is one of the only games I have ever played that purposefully and successfully nails being so bad it’s good.

Wednesday, May 21, 2014

I love you Nintendo Wi-Fi

I've been a Nintendo gamer for over a decade.  Though I've definitely invested in other consoles like the PS2 and Xbox 360, Nintendo's systems have always taken my priority.  After they established Nintendo Wi-Fi for online play, they soon also became my go-to company for multiplayer, since I don't have a PS3, my computer isn't very strong, and there's no way in hell I'm paying Microsoft's ransom just to play online.

I played online Nintendo games of all kinds and have always loved the sense of community and competition online play allowed as all my friends moved away.  When I got Modern Warfare 3 for the 360, I traded it in for the Wii version (and used the extra money to get Okamiden), I played Yu-Gi-Oh World Championship 2010 and Jump Ultimate Stars religiously, and whenever I wanted a little multiplayer fun in my lonely house/apartment, my Wii and DS always suited it.  Even without free communication, there was a special connection you could feel between how you and the other players played.  It was wonderful.

And now... We fight.
Almost all of that came to an end yesterday.

Sunday, May 11, 2014

Shonen Otaku: Ayes Aturnee

My previous post griping about Ace Attorney: Dual Destinies put a thought into my head.  If I'm figuring things out long before the lawyers are, does that make me a better lawyer?  After all, I can be a master of debates when it comes to actual arguments, and I can spout pop culture references with the best of them.  What if I were to be the Ace Attorney instead of Phoenix Wright?  I'd be one of the most famous people in the world.  I can just picture the headlines now...

The Somewhere Herald-May 2014

Since entering the courtroom in 2007, the Shonen Otaku (better known as SO) gained a strong reputation in the legal world.  SO often got the job done, but only through his own strange means did he prove the innocence of his clients.

He has been held in contempt of court a great many times and many people have died getting in his way, but he was always in pursuit of doing the right thing.
In his memory, I, Spark Brushel, have composed this list of SO’s most infamous quirks and acts of unorthodox behavior.  May he forever live on in our hearts.