who's bad?
Well, Data East, but that's not until next year. |
Bionic Commando(CAP): Bionic Commando has a cute idea for a platformer with its claw grip being able to grapple in 8 directions. It’s in the action where the game falls apart. You get one weapon that can only fire straight forward, a dire lack of any enemy variety and a great many instances where simply being able to jump would help avoid death. Instead if an enemy soldier shoots you at close range, you’re dead because you also die in one hit. If you could jump and use the grappling arm in tandem that would probably make for a smooth ride that rewards dexterity, but even if you can get used to how the claw arm works, it’s a short game with a pathetic anticlimax against a complete non-boss. Skip this one.
Psycho Soldier(SNK): This game’s claim to fame is using a vocal track for the Psycho Soldier theme and it’s great. Get used to it too because it’s not going anywhere.
When I say it’s great though, I actually mean it’s great in the Japanese version. Unfortunately for SNK, I’m trying to judge games by their English versions when possible because that’s the version I’d see in the arcades and the English version is botched in every aspect. Instead of a popular and professional singer for the main theme, they got some unnamed employee who’s off-key and sounds like she was pulled aside in the middle of work to rush it out, which carries over to the voice clips. To top that off, instead of the adorable girl depicted in the actual game, the English art shows what I assume is Bad Box Art Megaman’s sister, who doesn’t even remotely look like Athena. It’s like SNK went out of their way to make the English release as bad as they could! I know they’re notorious for badly translated text, but this goes far beyond some meme-worthy dialogue!
Where's Athena? |
Play this one in Japanese. Regardless of language, the game itself combines the auto scrolling and 4-lane shooting action of Sonson with the block-breaking and power-ups of Athena. Unlike Sonson, Psycho Soldier has more environmental navigation and actual jump physics, allowing for more diverse level design where all 4 levels of a stage might not be there. The game consistently introduces new obstacles and enemies and the different ways the Psycho Balls can change the trajectory of your special attacks adds to the depth. It’s a fun little action romp that’s worth playing at least once.
Guerilla War(SNK): In this game you play as Che Guevara some
guy and Fidel Castro some other guy as you overthrow the evil dictator
Fulgencio Batista with no name and liberate Cuba their country that shall not
be specified. They could’ve just had the
main characters be Ralf and Clark because it’s effectively another Ikari
Warriors game going back to the tanks and infantry of the original. It’s the same run and gun action, same
rotating stick aiming, same types of enemies and same brutal difficulty, just
substantially more polished. You move
faster, it looks cleaner and it has actual bosses, unlike the first game. It doesn’t do a lot to stand out, but it’s
fine enough on its own. If I didn’t know
any better I would say it was made so SNK would have another shot at making a
decent run n’ gun port for the NES, which, judging by what I’d heard about this
game prior, they succeeded.
This one introduces hostages you have to rescue without shooting. |
World Wars(SNK): This game is essentially an alternate take on the core gameplay of Bermuda Triangle, but instead of traveling through time, you travel across the world and instead of energy making your ship a flying death machine, only your gun is upgraded. This was done so that it’s easier to dodge attacks while you can still have your impressive weapon, which is emphasized more here because you die in one hit. Personally I prefer the dreadnaught you could get in Bermuda Triangle, but this makes it more in line with bullet hell shooters that expect you to squeeze between volleys of enemy fire. Apart from those changes and new ground-based enemies, everything good I said about Bermuda Triangle applies to this game as well, but World Wars has a better soundtrack. You can’t go wrong with either, but if you play them both you’ll get some deja-vu.
1943(CAP): It’s just another shooter. It improves the graphics and gameplay of 1942, but just like that game, the same enemies and visuals repeating themselves gets repetitive after a while. It’s average.
Black Tiger(CAP): Capcom tries their hand again at an action platformer, this time taking more inspiration from Castlevania as you whip at enemies through platforming obstacles. With hidden items and shops for upgrades, there’s a fair bit of depth to this one, but like the NES Castlevania games, it can be one hard sonuvabitch. Even on lower difficulties it will sometimes resort to Ghost n’ Goblin-style cheap shots, but once you get into the groove of it, it’s a fun adventure. The whipping weapon is satisfying to use, the obstacles keep up the variation and for a 1987 game, the gothic visuals aren’t half-bad looking. If you’re into old-school action platformers you might want to have a look at this one.Why are we still here? Just to suffer? Just to die? |
What's game balance? |
What really takes the shit cake is the controls and game feel. Hit detection is way off, frames skip, nothing feels like it flows, your special attacks only work when they feel like it and when they do they’re so overpowered that everything else is worthless and even your basic attacks are the stiffest I’ve ever felt. I get that heavier attacks are supposed to have more windup, but since there’s barely any windup animation, it looks like Ryu instead pauses for a moment before his punch or kick, which is not good for visual perception. Matches become button-mashing messes to see who can get the most shots in first because trying to use any finesse is a wasted effort.
Simply put, there’s
nothing good about this game except ironic enjoyment from pointing and laughing
at it. Some call it the worst
fighting game ever made, but that would have to mean it’s a fighting game when
it’s really a jumbled mess of code held together with scotch tape. Even in the context of arcades at the time it blows chunks. By this point I think games at least understood what hit detection is! It’s a shame that this crap is the reason the
Time Soldiers(SNK): Another twin-stick run & gunner, this time with the gimmick of traveling to different time periods. It isn’t much different from Guerilla War in its gameplay, but the premise allows for more enemy and environment types, including more bosses, though the bosses largely play the same way and mainly differ visually, which gets repetitive. Like Guerilla War, it’s a solid shooter game, but the premise is the only thing that makes it stand out.
Tiger Road(CAP): This game is awesome. It’s another action platformer with one
attack button like Black Tiger, but now you play in an adventure straight out
of a Jin Yong novel as you go from castle to castle and fight various bosses on
your way to defeat Ryuken, who has gone bad and gotten Goku and Fudoh on his
side, I guess to scare off Raoh. Every
castle you go through has unique obstacles, enemies and bosses. The bosses all have a unique gimmick to them
like one-off Fist of the North Star villains and an attack pattern to learn as
you take every opportunity in between dodging to mash that attack button until
they go down. Nothing ever repeats
itself in
Capcom really upped their game on the environment art. |
Raiga and Fuga are here too! |
No comments:
Post a Comment