Monday, March 10, 2014

The Eternal Pimp

In 1992, a fur-coat wearing black dude with sunglasses named Mr. Big conspired with Geese Howard in the kidnapping of Yuri Sakazaki in order to get her ass-kicking father to beat people up for them.  But after a beating by Yuri’s older brother Ryo, Mr. Big later went on to participate in the King of Fighters tournament in 1996.

"Taste my vengance!"
Years later, in the early 2000s, an up and coming music producer named Tyrone King made a name for himself finding star talent and writing some popular songs of his own.  Before long, the fur-coat wearing black dude with sunglasses was contracted to serve as the host of the ultra-violent game show Terror is Reality, in which zombies were bloodily slaughtered in different made-up sports for entertainment.


Many years after that, far into the future, the even more violent and prestige reality show Death Watch was held in the isolated Varrigan City after years of hiatus.  This Death Watch was hosted by the fur-coat wearing black dude with sunglasses The Black Baron.


At first glance these seem to be three completely different characters from completely different game franchises made by completely different companies.  I, however, do not buy this for one second.  I believe that every one of these fur coat-wearing black dudes with sunglasses are in fact one and the same.  They are all an immortal fur coat-wearing black dude with sunglasses whose true name is unknown, but I call The Eternal Pimp.

The proof is in each of the games The Pimp has been in.  By looking at the chronological history of these games, we can see evidence his slow evolution as a character as well as his extremely slow aging process.

Around the time of The Art of Fighting, The Pimp was still practically still a baby, at least by the standards of his inhuman, immortal lifespan.  He had yet to even grown hair by that point in time, meaning his moustache and beard are fake!  Think about it.  When has Mr. Big ever twirled his moustache or brushed his beard like any ordinary villain of his kind would?  He never has because he can’t risk it coming off!

"Don't touch the beard, ladies."
 By that logic, you could say that means Fatal Fury villain Wolfgang Krauser has a fake moustache as well, since has never stroked it either.  You would be correct. Krauser's is fake too!  That’s why it wasn’t in the second Fatal Fury OVA.


It is around the Art of Fighting/King of Fighters age we can see where some of The Pimp’s interests developed: he loves fighting people, he loves wearing a fur coat and sunglasses with every appearance, and he loves hanging out with chicks.


Fast forward several years, around the time Dead Rising 2 takes place and The Pimp changes his name to Tyrone King.  We can see that he his hair finally started growing, though it’s still hardly a mullet, since he’s still relatively young.  Like before, The Pimp still loves the carnage of violence, so much so that he fittingly ended up being the host of the most violent reality show of the time.


Not only that, but TK shows at the end of Dead Rising 2’s overtime mode that he knows how to fight well, particularly with a metal pipe, since he’s accustomed to such objects from his King of Fighters games.

Also notice that he still hangs out with chicks and still has his criminal connections.

He's had enough time to learn how to shoot that thing without touching the trigger.
It’s here people might be calling bullshit on my theory, as Tyrone King becomes a zombie in the canon ending of Dead Rising 2.  He did, but thanks to decades of his immortal body’s immune system at work, he was able to repel the zombification.  After that, to make people think he was dead, The Pimp used his fighting skills and charisma gained from working for Terror is Reality to become spokesperson of the even more violent game show, Death Watch, under the alias of The Black Baron.  By that time his hair had already turned white with his old age.

And no, that's not Madworld's color scheme.  He has white hair in the colorized Anarchy Reigns too.
Because The Pimp wasn’t living his life for so many years, and due to slight unrecoverable brain rot from the zombification, he learned what he thought young people sounded like in that time period to blend in, resulting in the rapid-fire cussing black dude with a fur coat and sunglasses we have today.  One of his most useful traits as the Death Watch spokesperson is that he can be killed to demonstrate each blood bath challenge and keep coming back due to his immortality, which is also how he survives his final confrontation and returns in Anarchy Reigns.


And he still loves being around chicks, as he always has, though he seems to have taken up masochism, likely out of boredom.  When you've lived for so long, I guess you just run out of things to do.


What more can we learn about this elusive character?  Where did he come from?  What will he be brought on to host next?  Are game designers across the publishers conspiring to give him his own game?  Find out next time on The King of Terror Watch!

And a big happy birthday to Madworld, one of my favorite games of all time!

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